Tuesday, July 12, 2011

When hopes of having a child faint away

It's been awhile since I have posted anything going on at the Urban Homestead. This time of year I usually leave the garden to my wife to take care of and I resume in the fall. Nevertheless, life continues to move on and realities begin to set in. One of which is having a baby. I would have never thought in a million years that I would be in a situation where having a child would be an issue. I have two sons from a previous marriage and so selfishly i never considered the importance of what it means for my wife. Until I met her parents. They are a Traditional Japanese Couple, pops is hard dedicated worker and mom has assisted him throughout his career. They have made tough sacrifices for their two children and it is in these days that my wife (after her rebellion) appreciates everything they have done for her.

So this past fall I got the unique experience to meet my mother and father in law whom have never been to the states and don't speak a lick of English. I wasn't worried about impressions, I just wanted to meet them and show them everything American that is synonymous with Everything Japanese. Our engagement was wonderful and something I will never forget for the rest of my life. When the Tsunami hit we were worried about them. As the reports came in from Japanese TV; which we luckily subscribe through via Dish Network, the reality on the ground was that many, many, many people have lost their lives. And not only that but whole families are gone with no way to carry on their name. This saddened me and put a pit in my stomach.

Many people contribute through finance and we followed suit. But while sitting down and looking at a story in which the only child who happened to be a daughter drove from several towns over to rescue her mom and she ended up dying and her mom survived. This situation made it real to me that in an instant a generation can be gone when there are so few in the gene pool to start with. My wife's Parents brothers and sisters are terminally ill and they have to very few children I want to say a handful is an exaggeration. When I took this all into I account I realized that my wife's parents have no grand kids. As this reality manifested itself I also realize that for several years my wife and I have been trying to have a child but with no results and because of this we have to be aggressive in pursuing other options.

 On the table is artificial insemination and invitro. It never dawned on me the extremely high cost and the importance of having a child through these expensive procedures. The bottom line is that we have no other choice . Although my wife looks and appears to be a spring chicken, her system is not and we have less than two years to try procedures that have any chance of working. The time is clicking and I'm on the other end of the pendulum making some of the toughest decisions in my life. I'm Glad to be back and I have a lot of work to do. More to follow..........

6 comments:

Sue said...

I hope whatever you try works. Good luck!

ATW said...

Sue-- me to!!! I spend most of my life laughing and joking. Now my only wish is to raise a baby with my my wife. We both long for a little one to get out in the garden with us.

Dmarie said...

oh, my, hoping for the best outcome for all!

Michelle said...

EDEARD MEESE od's with THIERRY DASSAUT in SA?
That is some " S& M"!

Wendy said...

Funny. I never had any problems having kids, and so I can't imagine what that would feel like, but I know what you mean with your thoughts about whole families just gone. It's an awful thing to consider.

I hope that by this time next year, you and your wife are holding your new baby ;).

ATW said...

Dmarie and Wendy.... Thanx for the kind words..

Wendy.. We certainly hope so.. Fingers crossed.